Late Nite Jokes
McDonald’s announced they’re giving teachers free breakfast this week. Which, ironically, won’t help teachers much when it’s time to pass or fail a health exam!
Late Nite Jokes
Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods announced that they’re joining the plant-based chicken business. Which means in the near future—expect to get cock-a-doodle-duped !
Late Nite Jokes
A tightrope walker performed a 2,198-foot walk over Paris, France this week. He said the viewpoint gave him a new appreciation of the sheer abundance and popularity of Paris’s numerous cafes--once he got above the clouds of cigarette smoke.
Late Nite Jokes
DoorDash announced that they’ve introduced on-demand alcohol delivery. Or, as alcoholic shut-ins call it, ‘Jiffy Lube’.
Late Nite Jokes
DoorDash announced that they’ve introduced on-demand alcohol delivery. The business is expected to only be rivaled by their closest delivery app competitor, ‘PubHub’.
Late Nite Jokes
Brewer Samuel Adams announced that they’ve released a beer that costs $240 a bottle. Which may explain the title of Samuel Adams’ new jingle: “Puttin’ On The Blitz.”
Late Nite Jokes
Ariana Grande made her debut as a coach on last night’s episode of ‘The Voice’. Which is surprising, since she’d make a better addition to ‘America’s Got Talent’—she could tell the contestants, “Thank U, Next.”
Late Nite Jokes
MIT researchers announced they’ve developed glow-in-the-dark plants. It’s great for the plants chance of survival—they’ll be the only plants at the rave that aren’t eaten or smoked.
Late Nite Jokes
MIT researchers announced they've developed glow-in-the-dark plants. Or, as nocturnal people call it: see-weed.
Late Nite Jokes
A Connecticut restaurant is taking steps to address staff shortages by having robot servers serve the meals. Y'know it's smart to double check math on the tip when your waiter has machine-like strength and its own internal calculator!
Late Nite Jokes
A New York City thief’s image was clearly caught on video after climbing through a McDonald’s drive-thru window. Apparently, the Hamburglar already put word out on the street that if he doesn’t get his money back, he’ll take it back in a shamrock shake-down!
Late Nite Jokes
A contest from the Planters peanuts brand will let the winner stay overnight in the giant Nutmobile. Planters said they’re committed to making sure the contest remains open to everyone, since Mylan’s ‘EpiPen Jalopy’ will be parked nearby.
Late Nite Jokes
A New York City thief’s image was clearly caught on video after climbing through a McDonald’s drive-thru window. In other words, “Goodbye, Happy Meal Gang; Hello, chain gang!”
Late Nite Jokes
The second U.S. murder hornet nest found this year has been eradicated, at the same time a third nest was located. Officials said they were able to locate the nests after tuning in to all the latest buzz.
Late Nite Jokes
Winnie-the-Pooh’s cottage is now available for rental stays in England.
Former guests said their only real complaint about the rental was the persistent and lingering odor of Pooh.
Unfortunately, potential guests were shocked to find a week’s stay in the residence at Hundred Acre Wood had a thousand dollar price tag!
Late Nite Jokes
A “haunted” upstate New York home has hit the sales market. Apparently, buyers can take a look at the property by browsing pictures on the website, ‘Killow.Com.’
Late Nite Jokes
A New York City thief’s image was clearly caught on video after climbing through a McDonald’s drive-thru window.
Authorities believe he needed the money cuz he works less than a McDonald’s ice cream machine.
At this time, all leads are being thoroughly investigated by Officer Big Mac.
Late Nite Jokes
Purdue researchers have announced that they’ve created the world’s whitest paint. They knew it was the whitest paint ever after it had been applied at a local business and immediately asked to speak to a manager.
Late Nite Jokes
Winnie-the-Pooh’s cottage is now available for rental stays in England. Yelp reviewers said, “Hopefully it’s been cleaned up a little since the last time the Piglet family booked it!”